Love Languages

August 1st, 2019

Lillie Heintz. Photo by Christopher Horne

By Lilli Heintz

We all want people to feel satisfied in a relationship whether it’s a friendship, marriage, or dating. We have this need that has to be filled whether it is through action, words, touch, gifts, and even time. Some people don’t know what it is that needs to be filled.

In the environment I work in, the models around me are into zodiac signs and how we act the way we act because of the time and place we were born and how the planets aligned. Even though I do find that satisfying and believe it to some extent, I feel like learning how to satisfy someone’s needs and wants so that they feel comfortable around you, interests me more. I remember my Dad, Pastor Brad of Living Word Church, did a series about love languages. The whole church read the book so that we could apply it to our lives. If you don’t know your love language I definitely suggest reading the book called “The 5 Love Languages” by Gary Chapman. There are also tests online that you can take to get a more accurate description of your own love language.

When I took the test, it told me that physical touch was number one and quality time was a very close second. That means what fulfills me and makes me happy is hugging you, holding hands, kissing, cuddling, putting my feet on you while sitting down. I show and want that type of love and affection. Then quality time comes into play. Where I just want to spend time with you, be at the same party, in the same room, just you and me or even a huge group of people. I just love physically being with them and or around them.
The other love languages are words of affirmation, which is where you need to be encouraged, supported, built up, to feel comfortable or wanted. The love language of gifts shows thoughtfulness and the action behind the gift is important. And finally, acts of service are when you do something for someone to make them happy or fulfill a need. It can include making a meal, cleaning; any act of service that would make the other person happy makes you happy.

Knowing your own love language is important but also knowing your friends or significant other’s love language is just as important. Some people might not have the same love languages as you. When I make new friends and I want to keep them around, I try to find out their love language. Sometimes I even have them take the test to make sure I am right. I want to satisfy their needs or want and know how to act in serious or fun situations. I don’t want to smother them or say the wrong thing because I don’t know what they are wanting. They might want a gift or an action. This also shows how Acts of Service is my third love language. Knowing others’ love language helps build a better foundation for your relationship to grow and be better from the start.

I am always trying to make sure the people around me are being taken care of the best way possible. I love knowing how I need to make a person happy or comfortable, it just makes me happy. Knowing this information can really better you as a person and better the relationships surrounding you.

That home feeling

February 1st, 2019

By Lilli Heintz

have always been told that home isn’t a place, it’s a feeling. I did not quite understand that until I experienced it first-hand. When you hear the word, home, what do you think of? Is it the house that you grew up in and been all your life? Is it your parents’ home? Is it your own apartment or newly bought house?

For me, I have lived in the same house as long as I can remember, so naturally I called that home. I am now living in a new city and an apartment. I have been calling my apartment home while not paying attention. Someone pointed it out, and it made me realize that I call both places in Seabrook and New York home.

I call Seabrook home because everyone I love is there, it’s cozy and familiar. Seabrook is both physically home but also the feeling of home. Since that is where I have spent 16 years of my life, it will always be my home. I am surrounded by the people that mean the world to me. They have stuck with me through thick and thin, and have always been the most loving people.

I also know that city like the back of my hand. I know the shortcuts and long routes to drive by the water. I know the rotation of the red lights, and where the best views are for sunrises and sunsets. I know all the places to eat, and where I can go to see my friends. My church, that is always growing, is there. Seabrook is and will always be home.

I believe that New York is my new home because I have never felt so myself somewhere. I dress how I want, I feel comfortable in my own skin, and my heart is happy there. It is crazy that one place can hold so many emotions. It is interesting how it is the city that feels like home and not necessarily my apartment.

At some point, in Seabrook, it became increasingly hard to be comfortable in my skin. Here in New York, people don’t care who you are when walking the streets, they only care about where they have to get to next. That has helped me focus on myself and who I need to be in this world. I am the one girl that will stand there and hold the door open for people at the subway station, or even bless you after you sneeze in passing. I have even found a new church home here. God is amazing at providing a home away from home. Hillsong NYC reminds me of how my dad preaches and after the first service there I knew that was where God wanted me to hear his word.

The feeling of home can also be people. Other people have such a big toll on our hearts and minds. When you make a deep connection with someone, they can turn into your home feeling as well. When you’re with this person, everywhere you go or stay can feel like home because you are so at peace with this person. You don’t have to put on your masks, you let them know your deepest darkest secrets, and you can completely feel like yourself with them. You can have these people turn into your family that you never want to lose. A single person can change how you feel about a situation or environment, they can be your home away from home, or a long-lost sister.

Even though New Your City is always busy, it does slow down at times. That’s when I found my people here, the people that saved me. I have an amazing group of friends that I can rely on because they are always there when I need them. I have amazing agents that listen to me and help me get to where I want to be in the modeling world. I have found my New York family and they are my home. One day soon my apartment will feel like home but at least the city and its adventures are already my home.

Both of these places hold a home feeling in my heart, and I am so blessed to have these experiences. I have found people who make me feel at home and are my family. I have now realized the meaning of home, both physically and emotionally. What in your life has given you this amazing home feeling?

If you want to follow my day to day life follow me on Instagram @lilliheintz