Nourishing the Mind
by Dr. Ed Reitman
Standing up for yourself isn’t easy. Let me give you some examples:
Jonathan had it. He wasn’t going to take orders or feel taken for granted any more. Nor was he going to continue making his wife’s happiness his mission in life. As a result, he started staying later at work, planned fishing and hunting trips with his buddies and got involved with a young lady at his office. His thought: “I’ve finally gotten a backbone.” I, however, saw his actions as rebellion. In no way was it stand up behavior.
Nancy waited up for her husband, who came home extraordinarily late. She knew he had been drinking, because he spoke to her in a far more kindly manner than usual and had a silly grin on his face. “I had a couple of drinks and smoked a joint.” “I know”, she responded and hurriedly retreated to a spare bedroom. She thought, “There isn’t going to be any intimacy tonight. It’s time he realizes he can’t treat me the way he does.” I doubt he got that message. Nor do I think that what she did constituted standing up for herself. She said nothing about what she felt, how she perceived his behavior, or why she was upset.